I have been single since 2015! Wow, that's a long time. It has been a long period of exploring really who I was and who I wanted to be in a relationship. Before I truly understood and accepted my life's curriculum (which has included living a life as a goddess who has been more years single than partnered and who has never had children). The true story of my childhood trauma really came to the surface in October 2020, but before that I was stuck wondering inside "Why was I always single?" It just didn't make sense. It is really hard to heal a wound that you don't know is there, so that's why working with a therapist (I am not a therapist) is a great pairing with my work as a #sacred intimate, should you choose to trust me on a guide on YOUR journey. Sacred intimates can do things that therapists can't, and animals and dogs can also love in ways that people can't. All of these are tools to help you realize your highest potential. I worked with a #lifecoach, a therapist, a psychiatrist and I am working with my service animal in a new #ptsd program that doesn't yet exist! It takes a village and your journey is never over! but it doesn't have to be a struggle. Remember that.
Feeling lonely is almost always a sign of unresolved #childhoodtrauma. I was lonely a lot as a child. My sisters were rejecting and my mother was emotionally unavailable and barely parenting. For most of my adult life, I worked a ton on healing wounds I knew were there, building self esteem, spiritual understanding, understanding that I was perfect as a divine soul. I felt one with the ocean and honored everyday that I would outstretch my arms to #ewabeach and make love to the sea. I was content, but I was still single. Getting my dog has allowed me to work on #relationalhealing that has licked the wounds that I didn't even know that I had. I am her alpha female in our household and to have a female love and respect me in my house for the FIRST TIME in copious amounts has been a #life changer. I have sister and mother wounds that BLED INTO the type of men and women that I was consistently attracting. (#narcissists) It was a cup overflowing with denial like De Nile! I didn't want to explore that these family wounds were affecting my romantic relationship patterns? How could this be? Didn't I love myself enough?
I am now convinced that all this rhetoric about "If you want to attract a lover, you first have to LOVE YOURSELF" as being THE ONLY important element. I thought I loved myself, I was confident, I had not been lonely really since I got over my relationship which took about a year. Living in Japan, I was lonely, being the land of my ancestry and maternal blood line, there was unresolved childhood trauma there I didn't understand until I lived there. I once set an intention to marry a Japanese man and get married and have a bilingual child there. That NEVER happened, no one even CLOSE to love appeared in the 3 years I lived there but it was certainly an interesting and fun learning experience. I decided also that that intention was not even something I wanted in the end. You need to love yourself to attract a good partner, this is so very true. Consciously clearing ALL the wounds of the past, ancestral trauma, no matter how painful is the last step I believe. If you are repeating a pattern that you don't understand maybe its time to seek coaching with a #sacredintimate in a session to explore what comes out of you when you are being held in safe space. My service dog in training, Satori has really healed me and loved me more than I ever expected I could be loved, and so from THAT place I look for a mate AND also do sessions with clients. And- they better love me better than my dog does if they want priority!